It's a Beautiful Ride

Hi! College-age Catholic feminist here (she/her pronouns, please). I post things that make me cry, or laugh, or affect me in some way. I have been reliably informed that I am in fact Gina Torres. You'll find general nerdery on this blog, with an emphasis on dead French revolutionaries. Otherwise, my fandoms range from Firefly to Hart of Dixie with very little rhyme or reason. I tag 'elyssa is catholic' for faith talk if you're not into that. Away from keyboard stuff is 'elyssa college blogs'. I write and draw stuff sometimes as well.

Welcome, anyway--I hope you stay awhile!

chriskaevil:

DC is being all gritty and “realistic” and Marvel just had a movie where the galaxy is saved by a dance-off and the power of friendship

(via besanii)

eilwaen:

looks like we got a lying whore

(via shakespearean-spunk)

animedavidbowie:

unrecognizedpotential:

forgottenawesome:

Do You Love Someone With Depression?

If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.

Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.

1. Help them keep clutter at bay.

When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)

2. Fix them a healthy meal.

Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.

3.Get them outside.

 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.

4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.

If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.

5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.

Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.

6. Hug them.

Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.

7. Laugh with them.

Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.

8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.

Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.

9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.

A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”

10.Remind them why you love them.

Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.

(via The Darling Bakers)

More people need to know this.

This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.

(via shakespearean-spunk)

tomhiddlesismyspiritanimal:

anyankaleigh:

baddiebey:



this is like my fave joke

okay that shit was good.

tomhiddlesismyspiritanimal:

anyankaleigh:

baddiebey:

image

this is like my fave joke

okay that shit was good.

(via defractum)

I believe in a God who is there, and He is not silent.
D. Tevebaugh (via lazarusknowsthetruth)

(via nickisthefury)

kauvera:

supernatural-aka-tearsandgay:

wiener-cest:

demeaniac:

STOP SCROLLING

straighten your back, mate

NOW GO ON

woah thanks i really needed that today

tumblr user demeaniac doing little favors for tumblr one post at a time

FUCK THIS POST HAS SHOWED UP LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY AND I HAVE BEEN HUNCHED OVER EVERY FUCKING TIME

PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING it is the best reminder for me ever and I always need it omg

(via dameferre)

drtanner-sfw:

l0kasenna:

officialnatasharomanoff:

slecnaztemnot:

nmscares:

#DidYouKnow #Deaf #DeafAwareness #education #SignLanguage #advocacy #NMSCares

This is actually sadly relevant. I had a lecture this summer about sign languages and Deaf culture and when I was finished, one hearing girl from the audience stayed behind to ask me some more question.

She asked me: “And your parents use sign language, right?” Like it was the most obvious thing in the world and why is she even asking this, of course my parents must know sign language.

"No… They don’t, actually."

"And how do you communicate, then?"

"Talking?"

"But… isn’t that complicated for you?"

"It is, sometimes."

"They probably didn’t have time for it…" she said. And I haven’t the heart to tell her that my father was offered sign language courses several times, that I offered to teach them some signs and that they always refused.

But I did told her: “It is not that rare. Most of deaf people I know have hearing parents who don’t sign.”

It’s the sad truth. People are willing to pay for surgeries to “repair” their children, but they are not willing to learn something to communicate with them.

i’d like to add onto this with my own personal experience, too. i was born hearing, but as soon as i was diagnosed as HoH, my parents didn’t do anything to learn ASL. they were quick to put me in classes, but they wouldn’t when i suggested to them that they take the classes with me so that we could learn.

i’ve tried to teach my mom how to sign numerous times, but she always says that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” to which i tell her that she can learn, she just doesn’t want to. which is true. neither of my parents want to learn how to sign, but they want me to be able to hear perfectly so they don’t have to repeat themselves.

little do they know that their frustration with me not being able to hear them would be solved if they would just learn how to sign. maybe signing something to me once instead of repeating themselves four times and then getting mad would be more beneficial.

I’m absolutely shocked at this, it’s never crossed my mind that many parents wouldn’t even try to meet their hard of hearing kids halfway.

What the fuck kind of parenting is that? I’m appalled. 

Listen, man. If you’re going to be a parent, then that means you have to be prepared to pull your finger out and do things for them, even when it’s inconvenient for you. Your kid didn’t ask to be lumped in with you; you did that, and now you’re going to have to do everything you can to make that kid’s life as decent and balanced and good as you can possibly manage. That’s what being a parent means. Your kids don’t owe you shit

Now normally when I explain that it’s because someone is bitching and whining about having an ungrateful child who doesn’t want to do X, Y or Z with them or for them or who isn’t living up to expectations, like that child is indebted to them because they fulfilled the basic criteria of human decency by raising them with some semblance of compassion and care, but this? Horrendous

I’m sorry, does learning a new skill so that you can communicate with your child seem like it’s above and beyond somehow? Sorry, matey, but it isn’t. You’re a parent, this is your job. Pull your fucking socks up. 

(via sweaterjoly)

bvckyneedshugs:

tumblr and puns

(via badlydressedbahorel)

  • Me: Mom? Dad? I'm a thespian.
  • Dad: The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Aaron Tveit and Idina Menzel.
  • 1: Top 10 favorite songs of all time
  • 2: Top 10 favorite songs at the moment
  • 3: Top 5 albums of all time
  • 4: Top 5 albums at the moment
  • 5: Top 10 favorite bands of all time
  • 6: Top 10 favorite bands at the moment
  • 7: Top 5 favorite male vocalists
  • 8: Top 5 favorite female vocalists
  • 9: Top 3 genres
  • 10: 3 songs that make you happy
  • 11: 3 songs that make you sad
  • 12: 3 songs that make you nostalgic
  • 13: 3 songs that make you energetic
  • 14: 3 songs that make you calm
  • 15: 1st song you remember falling in love with
  • 16: 2 songs that hold meaning for you
  • 17: 1st band you remember being a fan of
  • 18: 1st vocalist (M or F) you remember being a fan of
  • 19: A song you hate
  • 20: A band/artist you used to love and are now embarrassed about
  • 21: Oldest record you own
  • 22: Newest record you own
  • 23: How often do you buy music (irl)?
  • 24: Least favored genre of music
  • 25: Name one American band/artist you like
  • 26: Name one English band/artist you like
  • 27: Name one band/artist you like of which nationality is neither American or English
  • 28: Favorite soundtrack
  • 29: A song that reminds you of a loved one
  • 30: A song that best describes you
  • 31: A song you'd like to marry on
  • 32: A song you'd prefer for your funeral
  • 33: Most unknown song you like
  • 34: Most unknown band/artist you like
  • 35: Favorite vocalist
  • 36: Favorite guitarist
  • 37: Favorite bassist
  • 38: Favorite drummer
  • 39: The toughest band/artist you like
  • 40: The softest band/artist you like
  • 41: Top 5 songs of which lyrics you like
  • 42: Top 3 instrumental songs
  • 43: Ever kissed on a song? If yes, which one?
  • 44: Ever had sex on a song? If yes, which one?
  • 45: Ever cried on a song? If yes, which one?
  • 46: A song you can't take seriously
  • 47: Which bands/artist were mostly played during your childhood (by your parents?)?
  • 48: How important is music to you?
  • 49: Would you like to be a part of the music industry?
  • 50: Something you like and something you despise in music these days
  • 51: Do you listen to old music? If so, 5 favorite bands/artist
  • 52: Do you own any band merchandise? If so, what and of which bands?
  • 53: Do you have tattoos related to bands/artists?
  • 54: Which bands/artists have you seen LIVE?
  • 55: Best performance you've ever been to?
  • 56: Tell me something, anything, personal about you and a song/band/album
  • 57: Is your music taste famliar to your best friend's? If no, what do they listen to?
  • 58: Do you judge people based on their music preferences?
  • 59: Bands/artists you still wish to see LIVE?
  • 60: Put your music-player on shuffle and write down the first 20 songs (no skipping, be honest)